From the time of my mental breakdown around 1989 I lived in a constant state of anosognosia right until I was diagnosed in 2004. Now after years of meds and doctors I feel as if I am faking it, that I am perfectly fine and should be able to stop my meds and go right back to full time employment.

I deny myself the ability to laugh because I think that would just prove my point, that there is nothing wrong with me but I am just too afraid to change now.

Did I make any sense here?