Quote:
Originally Posted by 20oney
Sooo my T decided to abruptly go away (it wasn't really that abrupt) but it resulted in a 4 week break between session.. the first week and a bit I was fine, then it sunk in and I was a wreck. After a few days like this, I decided that 'feeling' my emotions was not going to work for this long, so I resorted to the usual - push all the emotions down and put a lid on them.
Anyway, she's back this week and I am due to see her in a few days. But I'm stressed about how it's going to go. I feel like I made a bunch of progress, gained a lot of trust, and now it just feels like I have gone backwards. I know I've gone backwards.. I just don't know how it's going to go - I'm dreading it.
Just wondering what your experiences have been like after a longer break?
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I'm sorry you were struggling & suppressing your feelings is just your old coping mechanism, so not surprising really as that was the way we managed to cope in the past. I also really struggle when my T goes away. Although when he returns & I see him, I'm excited to see him, I'm always quite nasty & sarcastic to him. My T says it's because I feel abandoned by him, so I have to make him 'pay' in some way. By the following session I'm usually ok again. You say you've gone backwards, but I don't think you have at all. All you have done is manage the best you can during that time. You are aware of your feelings now, whereas b4, you just did that without realising. Good luck in your next session & talk to your T about exactly how you feel & how you've managed.
