I texted S (ex-T - trying to be friends) this morning to tell him that I need a break from communication. I asked for a month. I asked him to respond and let me know if we can be OK -- if I can take this break and then come back and be his friend.
I think he has been gaslighting me. He told me Saturday that he'd be leaving for Mexico on Sunday and that he may be completely unplugged while there. I asked 3 times how long he was going for, but he completely ignored the question and just spoke of other things. Then, yesterday, I got upset because he hadn't given me any indication of how long he'd be totally disconnected for.... so I sent him an upset text about it. Woke up this morning to this text from him:
Quote:
Wow.
Ok, first, I'm not in Mexico. I haven't decided if I'm going there this week yet or not. Second, I have been out of cell phone range all day.
You making assumptions and insinuations that suggest I'm acting in ways that manipulate you or "**** with your mind and emotions" is unfair. I am not doing anything on purpose to upset you. I promise I have better things to do than that. Plus, I'm not an asshole, so even if I was bored to death, I still wouldn't do that.
I know that you like your communications with me to be responded to immediately. I know that you try not to panic when they aren't. And I know the longer it takes to get a response, the harder it is for you to stay calm and keep from assuming the worst. I know all of this. And I get it. I really do.
I'm not going to apologize everytime my plans or my actions don't fall in line with your preferences or expectations. You have to learn to be flexible. That's what normal humaning looks like.
I don't want you to hurt and I don't want you to be upset.
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Guys, he literally TOLD me he was leaving for Mexico yesterday and was possibly going to be unplugged for however long he's gone. HOW AM I THE CRAZY ONE for thinking he did what he said he'd be doing?!?
I resisted looking up the signs of gaslighting for fear of finding out it was true, but I guess I faced that fear today. Every sign is there.