I did seek help a few months after that. I didn't have any money or insurance (I was unemployed for some time after that), and so my mother in law set me up with a life coach who volunteered at her church. Truthfully, the experience was more traumatic than helpful. I had so much anxiety/panic during that time in my life it was nearly impossible for me to speak about what I was going through, so one day I walked to my appointment half drunk. I opened up to her that day and told her everything. And then, she never returned my calls again. I didn't seek any more help after that, although I'm sure I should have, but I was so humiliated that I never did. I think about doing that a lot now. I've used some of the online services like Better Help, but truthfully it hasn't been all that helpful. I feel like I'm pretty self aware about it so basic coaching hasn't been all that helpful. I know I could benefit from some more intensive therapy from a real psychiatrist, but alas, money still stands in the way of that. I focus some of this energy towards activism in my community for more resources and on a larger scale for single payer healthcare - it's stressful, but gives me hope I might be able to get the help I need someday.