when someone asks "what do you want for Christmas?" what do you say. What do you say when the only thing that comes to mind is "I want to die".

Nothing is important, nothing matters. I don't want to wake up again to tears in my eyes and sobs on my lips. The demon twisting this knife in my chest just may win.

I find myself having to move, keep going, doing something, anything to keep busy. God forbid I stop for any reason for then the feelings and tears come flooding back with a vengeance. Logic and reason head straight for the toilet.

I'm very fortunate to have yall (southern for "you all") as friends. Your friendship and concern means a lot to me.
You all have been very kind.