I've been reading about gaslighting and narcissism all morning, and I keep swinging from "holy crap this is literally describing the last 3 years of my life" to "but... *insert various things that make me question it*" over and over.

Narcissism is a spectrum though, right? His being a narcissist doesn't have to mean he's Satan incarnate, right? He can have genuinely good qualities too, right??

Can you even have a functional relationship with a narcissist?

If he is a narcissist, does that mean I will HAVE to say goodbye for good or always suffer?

I cannot mesh the "Evil" picture of narcissism with the "Savior" picture built from my memories......

This hurts so f-ing much.