Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanycats
I've been reading about gaslighting and narcissism all morning, and I keep swinging from "holy crap this is literally describing the last 3 years of my life" to "but... *insert various things that make me question it*" over and over.
Narcissism is a spectrum though, right? His being a narcissist doesn't have to mean he's Satan incarnate, right? He can have genuinely good qualities too, right??
Can you even have a functional relationship with a narcissist?
If he is a narcissist, does that mean I will HAVE to say goodbye for good or always suffer?
I cannot mesh the "Evil" picture of narcissism with the "Savior" picture built from my memories......
This hurts so f-ing much.
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Future ex was pretty clearly a narcissist. So yes, they can have good qualities - but whether they're genuinely good or acting as part of the whole manipulate and keep you off balance thing was never clear to me. Ultimately the bad was worse than the good.
Was it a functional relationship? God, no.
As for evil...I would not say narcissists were evil, but rather they suffer tremendously. That does not make their behavior okay or easy to live with.
And yeah, there's an excellent chance if you stay in touch you will always suffer yourself. Not worth it imo.