Blaire, I did this too, for a very long time. Not with Ts, but there was always someone.

Current Ts are helping me identify more strongly with myself so that I can break free. I have things now, clothes, decor, etc that are "their style" but rather than having these things to meld with them, as I did in the past, it is more to remind me of the skills they taught me and to evoke a certain atmosphere.

I hope you can discover your center. It's in there somewhere.