Doctors, basically, are in the business of prescribing drugs. There is no drug that fixes your problem. You are actually right, to a large extent - IMHO - that this is a case of failure to be taught from an early age. If you find your way to a doctor about this issue, most likely something will be prescribed for you. You will be told that the drug could make it easier for you to learn the adaptations you need to learn. I'ld be very skeptical of that. My guess is that you were inadequately socialised growing up. Perhaps you are on the autism spectrum, which might indicate that you lacked the capacity to be normally socialized. Your question is about where you go from here.

My comment, here, is that you are right to not want your problem minimized. As I see it, there is no easy solution. I don't believe that 50 minutes once a week in a therapist office is going to do much more than give you 50 minutes a week of not being alone. That leaves a lot of week left for you to feel unchanged. Ideally, I wish there were what I would call "immersion programs," where individuals like yourself could be in a forced, moderated socializing environment. This would be like a partial hospitalization program. I was in a PHP, and it did help me improve social skills. What I envision may not exist.

I realize what I'm saying does not help solve anything. My main point is that this is a very tough problem. It should not be minimized, as something that can be readily fixed with some counseling.

Human beings, however, have been known to overcome very huge deficits, if they are sufficiently motivated. People without hands have learned to play the guitar with their feet. You are not all that motivated, unfortunately. You ardently wish things were different. You fervently desire that someone could annd would help you. But that's where your motivation ends. You're not willing to activate yourself. You are depressed, and you live a lifestyle that fosters depression. Depression is the great unmotivator. So you're trapped.

People solve really tough challenges by being willing to make very large effort, even when there is no guarantee that the effort will pay off - at all. They take risks. They keep trying things. But that requires an ability to tolerate repeated failure, in hope of eventual success. Not everyone can withstand the discouragement of trying and trying and not having a lot to show for their effort. But that's what it probably takes to escape the trap you are in.