Alcohol me too..but to me they are one in the same..addiction is addiction..powerful, baffling..sucking the life right out of you.

Just curious how long you were sober....wondering how old you are and how much longer you will fight this battle...or if you will get the "gift" of sobriety...which I hope I have again..it feels like I do....and it feels to me like Intro...is doing well too.

6 times in the past year...is 6X too many...but honestly..it seems like you are "fighting" to be well...my b/f is addicted to cocaine in crack form....he had a good 30 days clean last month..but before that used everyday for 3 years in a row....and he is using again...I don't know how often cause he no longer lives with me.

I'm dissappointed we are in our 50's...but I understand addiction...I have addiction problems...and I hope you get the gift...

I don't know how to explain it..I'm trying...its weird..its like you FEEL relieved of a burden you know the relief you feel is you no longer crave your drug of choice....AND you feel super elated..but afraid at the same time that the feeling will go away. And the gift is you just tend to change..and they do call it the psychic change in the Big Book..and I am not an AA thumper or NA thumper but there is truth to having a psychic change (the changes in the way you think of things)...

I had that in 2005...and didn't drink for 8 years.

And then I drank again for the last 3 years...I think I have almost 60 days sober now...And about 20 days in I had a dream I was drinking...when I woke up I thought I had a hangover...and when I realized it was a dream...I was SO HAPPY...I jumped out of bed..thanked God over and over that it was a dream....got myself iced coffee and have had the "gift" since.