I've been depressed that I can't find a woman to be with. Then today I got a golden opportunity to meet a dream woman. She actually initiated contact with me on the dating site!!!

How did I respond? I figured it was too good to be true, so I sent back a snarky response. She actually responded to it to say (in effect) "the hell with you".

Why am I so stupid??? I just blew a fantastic chance! I actually thought I was giving a good response at the time. That's an opportunity that I've been want, and for some reason laughed it off.

No, I do not "want to fail". I just somehow do stupid things like that.

I’m going to be self-destructive by eating junk food. Then I'll try to calm down.