I'm sorry they lied to you like that. That must have been very disheartening.

I had a similarly strange situation growing up. Until I was 9 years old, my parents insisted that my brother and I sleep in their bedroom on a sofa bed. One of them would sleep in the middle of the bed with us to "put us to sleep" then in the middle of the night they'd get up and join the other parent in their own bed.

I was told this was because I was afraid to sleep in my own bedroom, but this is untrue. I was never given a chance to sleep in my own room. The one time I tried, they kept telling me scary stories about being alone in the dark and that made me go back to their bedroom.

Where did they have sex during this 8-10 year period? Right there in the room with us.

What was all that "put you to bed" stuff about? It was an opportunity for my NPD dad to sexually abuse me with my mother and brother right there in the room sleeping.

I never confronted him about this. He'd only deny it like he denies ever doing anything wrong. I went no contact 2 years ago.

In my case, I really feel like it was all a power play. It wasn't really about sex as it was about control. "I control this woman and this little girl and I can do whatever I want to them whenever I feel it." He kept us toys at his disposal.