I'm not getting quality rest. I wake up at 1 and 4 and have trouble getting back to sleep. Worst of all, when I wake up, I ruminate over all my past poor manic behavior. I also review all of the problems I have. This is pretty stupid, as I have a few problems but nothing major or terrible.

I try to rest quietly in the day, but my mind jumps around and I start thinking on everything again. I've been taking a Klonopin (.5) during the day to calm me down.

I saw my pdoc and she said to try extended release melatonin. I don't really want to take a sleeping pill, as it would be one more med.

She recently increased my Wellbutrin and Rexulti. This kicked me out of my chemical depression. Which is good. But now I feel sort of situationally depressed. I just can't win.

My therapist said to put a sign by my bed that said something like "You are okay, you are loved. Don't beat yourself up." That thought does comfort me a little.

Does this never end?