I need to ask a question and please anyone with advice is welcome to my husband and I are in the middle of a separation after 15 years of marriage and knowing one another for 25 my question is this what would you call a person Who is always throwing up your mistakes and your past mistakes in the relationship in your face in any type of discussion and argument anything and the minute you ask about their past mistakes or their past they immediately shut down and they don't want to discuss it I'm completely confused and frustrated right now my husband every time I try to discuss with him and explain to him when certain behaviors and actions that he does makes me feel in a certain way he's always avoiding the conversation or the issue and does nothing but throw up my past and my mistakes which everybody has mistakes I don't have a problem with admitting my mistakes my problem is is he's always using my mistakes as leverage against me but when I ask him about his issues or point out things re-referencing to him immediately doesn't want to talk about it I'll give you an example

Last night we were talking and we got on the subject of where our marriages right now and I was discussing with him why I feel the way that I feel and that I need him to address his feelings not only to me but to himself more importantly for anything between him and I to work out of nowhere he threw a comment at me and said "well you left me once before" ( referring to our divorce back in 1994) and I said you're right yes I did I filed for divorce back in 1994 but you also left me in 1992 when I was pregnant
His next comment to me was "maybe this is one of our problems is you're always wanting to live in the asked why can't you just let lying dogs lie that's the difference between you and me I've let the Past you can't "

I said to him you're the one who brought up the past first I'm only addressing something that happened as well that you did from the past and "right away he said I'm done with this conversation I'm tired I'm gonna go to sleep I'll talk to you tomorrow" I was completely dumbfounded and I asked him "no you know we need to address this I need you to stop running we need to address this issue" and then his next reply to me was "I know what you're doing you're trying to use that reverse psychology bs on me" i'm going to bed good night

What the heck is that type of behavior? I don't even understand how he can act that way when we are separated and he so says he wants to work out our marriage and this is the type of behavior that he demonstrates I don't get it and I stupid or my missing something can someone please send me some advice here thank you