Quote:
Originally Posted by Tbhimscared
I have this whole problem of being too passive and wanting to impress those around me or make them like me, so I think that my darkest parts of me should really be hidden when I know that she wouldn't be judging me and can't really be impressed with my things and won't ever "like" me.
TRIGGER
And I'm not suicidal right now, but I have been in the past and have made plans etc. So even though I'm not planning anything right now, my past is on my mind and it feels like such a secret.
And I have so much trouble showing emotions and I must seem pretty on edge during my sessions but I tend to laugh and smile a lot even though I'm so anxious I can barely breathe
It's such a complicated situation and I'm such a difficult patient
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I will enter in with my perspective not as disagreements with previous comments as they are really good. When I started therapy one thing I promised myself is to be totally honest and also open to counsel. My situation was depression from dealing with cancer but it went back farther than that I learned. Also anger issues were the purpose initially which got very direct and dealt with things I hadn't seen or admitted for a long time. I think wanting to be liked or respected is a 2 sided thing with one side being respectable in our own actions but the harder part is being open to who and what we are so we don't react to what WE think others are thinking. My first therapist sounds similar to what you are describing and I didn't get help so stopped and when I found the second one everything opened up. All this mumbling is probably confusing so I will stop with 2 points. You must be able to connect with the therapist and be willing to be totally honest in sharing your concerns, feel trusting enough to bare your closest held fears and know their training is to get to the real core and then rebuild from there.