I've already told you, Jelly, what I thought was the origin of your problem. If you want some diagnostic label to put on yourself, go to a psychiatrist. But, then, where does that get you? You say you got poor parenting. I believe you. What happened to you growing up can't be helped. The past is what it is. Your job, now, is to decide: "What do I do next?" If you need a guarantee, or promise, that a certain approach will work, no one can give you that.