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I know you've said you want friends in 3D, not just friends at PC. Think about what you've done here to make friends. How can you translate to the outside world?
I'm going to challenge some of the things you said in your post, not to be mean, but to offer a different perspective.
Let's say you become rich and famous. That doesn't mean people are going to love you. They may fawn over you and act like they love you, but they are just going to be trying to get something from you. For me that would lead to even for sense of sadness and isolation.
I understand that you feel you've "wasted" the last ten years of your life. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. I have a sign hanging in my living room near by front door so I see it every time I go out. The sign says "You're never too old to live happily ever after." I love the sentiment. I can't undo the crap that happened to me in the past, but I can live a life that satisfies me now.
I'm offering you a challenge. You listed all the things that are "wrong" with you. What are your good qualities? You have them, but you also have to acknowledge them to yourself.
A final thought, could your current feelings be related to losing your case manager last week? It's easy to slip into negative thinking when grieving.
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