well i hope it doesn't make you a coward because then most of the people on here... would be and I think so many of them are really brave. Its not you, it's the depression... it makes you not want to fight. And, really you have to overcome more than what alot of people have to deal with because of the depression. It's like trying to walk with a hurt leg. The path might be a hard one, but with the added hurt leg... its harder. But the path still leads somewhere and its best to keep going, and keep trying even if you need a few breaks and help along the way. No one ever complained about being asked for help by someone with a broken leg trying to get up some stairs right?
I've had trouble lately keeping the fight up, and I'm not even diagnosed with anything :O *just wanted to lay on my bed.... forever...* so like... things can just get tough. Just keep going. It's worth it, for the chance to enjoy yourself again once you get through this hard moment. Even if you didn't have your son... there's much to live for

Arg and good luck with the holidays... it can be hard keeping a facade of happiness up but at the same time hopefully you get to see people who care about you