Since yesterday's session I have felt somewhat flat. It was a good session--as sessions go. I didn't dissociate...stayed grounded the entire time (2 weeks in a row!).

Today I feel a bit flat. T has been encouraging me to get out more and develop more relationships. Why do I have to do this? I love being home (when I'm not at work). I love taking care of my family and just being cozy. I feel safe here. I don't want to go out--this is enough for me. I got a job didn't I? Why isn't that enough?

I also don't want to face him tomorrow. It will be the last session before the Christmas break and I'm sick of facing these separations from him. I just want to pretend it's not happening. I'll keep busy until he returns. Ohhhhhhhhh I'll be good T--don't leave me. And I won't tell you that I'll miss you because it makes me want to cry.

Grrrrrrrrrrr---struggle--push--pull--yikes!!!! Damn, %#@&#!, %#@&#!.



Bah Humbug