dear jellyfish18, what do you mean when you say you were violently ignored? i wish i had an answer to your problems. if only there was a family you could move in with, who could be the family you should have had when you were young, who could treat you how you should have been treated. that would really help. i wish you could find one. it's never too late to fix things and to feel better, even if just a little. all the best to you.