please tell me it's not just me...

i have major issues with being touched and touching people. a lot of it has to do with childhood emotional abuse/neglect and then being bullied in school and made to feel like a loser.

due to all this, I've never dated or anything, not even held hands with someone. i sometimes wish i could go on a date, for the experience, at 35, its a bit silly i've never done it, but the anxiety is too much.

my therapist has started working a little with me on hugs... he asks if he can hug me and it happened 2 times so far. my first real hugs ever. sad but true.

the last time we hugged on fri, i was ok with him hugging me, but i realized, i actually almost apologized when i realized i was touching his back it then hit me how bad the issue is... and i still wanna work on the hugging more with him, because i trust him and i do plan to tell him about this realization, but i feel stuck...

beyond hugs with him, how is someone like me, with massive trust issues supposed to ever get past this other stuff to be "normal" i can't ask him to do more "Touchy" stuff as most of it is likely not ethical (and i do not mean sexual anything, i mean like arm touching etc)

i feel so weird, so hopeless.... is anyone else like this? am i just insane? any advice on how to work on it or what i should tell my therapist beyond my feeling bad about touching him?