I chose wrong or possibly my goals are wrong and distorted. T doesn't think I need to unburden parts now. It sounds kind of corny to me anyway. So I had this other idea to do a 10 minute loving yourself meditation that made me cry yesterday. I closed my eyes, listened, but did not cry. That led to why I want to cry and why I can't.

Then, I brought up the jealousy of my friend. T says I have a "nothing will work" attitude about getting my own artwork in show. She's right. I haven't "put myself out there." I'm defeated before I try. I tried only once.

I cried afterwards and emailed already. I didn't feel connected to T. Stupid, doing a meditation though she liked it. She should have paid ME the $100. I was feeling good until my session.