When I see my pdoc next week I am telling him I want a total med wash. Then if I do choose to start meds again they will be weight losers or I won't take them. I am tired of all this weight I carry from the meds I have been on over the years.

If I am going to be ****ed up anyways I might as well not be 50 pounds over weight.

I am sick of meds. I am sick of being crazy. All I think about throughout the day are ways to kill myself. It is not normal. I shouldn't be around.