So, are you going to work on the feeling out of control, the feeling of resentment, or on changing directions?

I like the sound of that phrase, "embedded hatred" (but not the concept :-) Have you written a poem or anything about it, explored it further?

Embedded hatred steals my spark;
Diverts it to another's mark.
This could be written without rhyming
Just another's mark;
Controlled timing.

Then the positive stanza about how you're going to block the steal. . .all without rhyming :-)