I am a working mom who struggles with depression and anxiety. I moved a year ago for a new job and for that year my husband has been home with our toddler. Before that he worked. I finally have my medication right and I am feeling pretty good. My husband and I are getting along better than we have for a long time. He also has some mental health issues but they are pretty under control.

I love my husband and daughter so much, it sometimes overwhelms me. And I miss them when I'm not around them. But it just seems like my husband and I don't see eye to eye on what is reasonable, and I have built up resentment over time because he didn't contribute enough to household tasks even though he wasn't working. It's gotten better and I feel like I am able to live with how it is now.

Sometimes I just don't understand why we see things so differently. Things that are just expected of me, like grocery shopping or cleaning, are a "big deal" if he does them. He does do some family tasks like paying bills and unloading the dishwasher but I feel like it's just expected that I'll do things. When I come home from work I do 80% or more of the evening and weekend childcare.

I can watch my daughter and get housework done. But he can't. He is taking an evening class now and complains that it is too much to watch our toddler, do a few minor chores, and study during the day. It's only a 10 week class and it's material he's pretty familiar with so it isn't very hard, but he does have to put in a certain number of hours studying because there is a time requirement for the course.

Sometimes I just get so mad that basic things are so hard for him. He just can't seem to handle even close to what most people do, and if I expect more than he is doing then I am considered judgmental. He is so good at coming up with reasons why he can't or didn't get something done.

I know I said things are better and they are, but he's asking about putting our kid in daycare a couple days a week while he is doing his class. We can't afford it. She is going to go when he starts his job after finishing the class, but we cannot afford it before that. It just made me angry today that he asked to do that. Sometimes I feel like I get mad over petty things and I try to remember not to do that, but I think the reason I do is that deep down we just see things differently and I can't really understand where he comes from, and it makes me angry.

Am I making any sense? Does anyone have a similar situation? I'm just looking for thoughts