I've heard there are plenty of men out there who are great with the kids and nurturers, but I haven't met one in my experience.

My h did less than the minimum, and if I asked him to take care of them, he'd neglect them. He'd make out like he just doesn't know what to do. Maybe these men just don't have 'maternal instincts'?

I never completely trusted him with the kids, and alwayslk checked up on them, made sure he fed them.

I'm not sure what to say to help you, besides I can commiserate.