Hey couchies! Thanks for the pocket riders, you gave me courage to go in there and talk. I know there's an in session thread, but I feel more comfortable here.

(Edited to delete stuff cuz I creeped myself out with over sharing)

She said she was sorry that I'd felt judged.

She admitted she should not have told me I was in a complex or possessed or whatever wording she used, I told her I really really still don't quite understand exactly what happened, she said clearly you were triggered by something, and we explored that some, um she got out her notes to read to me what she had written down that I said because it didn't sound like 'me', and when she read it to me, I was like you're right it doesn't, she said I'm not making it up it's right here I said no I believe you, I remember you writing something down but I've forgotten so much of what was said. I did tell her that of course I don't hate her and that I feel awful that I said that to her.

I'm still scheduled for next week but after that we're gonna play it by ear and I'm still considering taking a break. But I do feel better. I said again how I couldn't leave it like it was and she appreciated that. She said she thinks we're stronger now. And I told her I am glad that 'we' are still a 'we' and she said she wanted to give me a hug so we hugged and then I left.

So that was that! almost forgot to say thanks for reading anyone who got this far