Sorry you're going through this. I've been there a lot, and it's always hard. The fact that you are working so hard to try to find the words says to me that you really want to share this with T, which is awesome. It could go a long way towards helping you stay safe.

Breaking the ice is always hard. When I read your posts I wondered if it would be easier to start with a question, like, "this is something we really haven't talked about before...but I was wondering if we could talk a bit about about how you work with people who are having thoughts about hurting themselves..." and sort of work up to it from there? That way you can ease your way into the hard stuff, gauge how comfortable you are feeling and build on it. You also give your T a chance to pick up the cue and run with it...

I'd always start there, because Ts can be incredibly helpful, but also sometimes can over/under react. I like to know what I am dealing with before I let a T into that part of my mind.

I'm so sorry things got so overwhelming you felt you didn't have another choice. But happy that you found a way out the other side. Well done x