Dear MC,
I think it's like, over the past couple years, you've activated these receptors in my brain that have long been dormant--receptors for reassurance, security, etc. Stuff I didn't get as a kid. And also stuff I'm not getting enough of now. I don't think it's all just about childhood--you've said that marriage should bring with it security and similar feelings. But for whatever reason--whether it's H not providing that in the ways that I want/need or me not being open to receiving it from him or both--I feel like I'm not getting that enough in marriage.

But I don't know how to bring it up in session without saying I'm getting those things from you, which might put H on the defensive and might make you go into your whole "but I'm not real" or "if you have the void, then H can't fix that" or "but H does give you security, you just can't accept it." I think I just need it to be expressed in different ways, the ways that you do it, because they get through to me. But I feel like I've said some of that before, but H won't do it. Some of it seems so simple though, like just saying "It's OK." These little things could make such a difference for me. Can you maybe help H understand? Or are you just going to say that I need to adapt to what H can give? Like maybe I want a grilled cheese but have to be satisfied with cheese and breadcrumbs because that's what H chooses to give, even though he's seemingly capable of making me a grilled cheese. (Maybe that's a bad example.) And, yes, I know it needs to go the other way, too, with me giving him something different. But isn't that part of what marriage is about, trying to meet each others' needs?

I'm rambling, maybe I can come up with something more coherent by Monday...
Love,
LT