Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Okay, can i be the bad guy for a minute?
Equal is good, but was it equal? First you took away his gym time, to celebrate your good news, but you also took away his opportunity to offer you a celebration. Thats two. Then he takes her to the pool. Thats minus three for him, plus two for you.
Okay i am lousy at keeping score, but maybe you were feeling guilty cuz it did feel unbalanced? Like your wanting a drink to celebrate IMMEDIATELY outweighed even the idea of a leisurely planned gifted uncontrolled-by-you celebration later.
Just throwing some ideas out there. I feel like there is something between you two that cant be said, and im not sure what it is. The control issue was big for me - do they love me enough or do i have to make my own advances?
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Thanks for the thoughts. But he wouldn't have planned a celebration for me. He doesn't do that sort of thing. Maybe years ago, back when we were dating, he would have bought me flowers or something. But he wouldn't have done anything now. I mean, he didn't even give me a glass clink last night, like "To good results on the scan" or something.
And he told me he didn't want to go to the gym anyway so I was saving him from having to run on the treadmill (which he may not have been able to do because he has a toe injury).
A lot of it for me is feeling like I have to ask for everything and spell it out exactly when I'm stressed and why. Like I had to say "I have things x, y, and z that I have to get done in the next few days." Just saying "I have a lot of work" would probably be meaningless. I want him to be like, "You're really stressed, so what can I do to help." Or in this case, "I know you were really worried about that test--do you want to talk about it?" Instead he just talked about work the whole time. Which, yes, he's going through a stressful time there, too, so I tried to just let him talk, while I listened and asked questions about it. But I had other stuff I wanted to talk about, too. I feel like something of my anger and tears were from that--feeling like I didn't get the support I wanted either during or after the fact.