I've been feeling quite depressed lately.. I've felt like my life has absolutely no meaning if I have to keep doing things just to please others which is what I've 'always' done.. As a kid, I felt my survival depended on it. By the time I was 20, I had absolutely NO idea who I was because I'd spent my whole life trying to make my mum happy..

But now I've realised that I'm stuck in thinking I'm still just living to please her.. When in fact, I stopped doing that ten years ago! I still haven't lived trying to fulfill my dreams, but I've done what's necessary - what I've needed.. She hasn't liked a lot of those choices - not that I made them to piss her off, I just couldn't care anymore about what she thought.. Living according to her rules and vision was killing me..!!

And now I can go on doing what I need to do to feel good.. I can start fulfilling those dreams of mine!!! I don't need to please anyone anymore in order to survive.. And the right people will want me to be happy My life can actually start to mean something!!!