Oddly enough, I don't. I don't like getting to the point where I stagger and slur words badly. I like to stop at buzzing. My usual dose was a 750ml bottle of 12% ABV wine or a 24 oz can of Loko, 12% or 14%. Those are roughly the same. In my most recent round of drinking, I would usually drink exactly that much; no more, no less. I was also taking 40 mg of immediate release adderall. A more common dose is 20 mg extended release, meaning it would take about 20 hours. I had twice that much kick in in about 20 minutes. Yeeha!

I was self medicating with a dose of alcohol over my trazadone to take the edge back off at night. I am not a doctor, but I think that might be an unhealthy cycle...

Opioids and muscle relaxers were just a little diversion when I had an opportunity.

I am still in the grip of expansive hypomania. I know that, but I still can't shut up. When I crash I am going to be really bummed that I don't have my wine and pills, but this is for the best. I am a more reasonable person now than I will be then. This is a good decision. That doesn't mean I won't regret it when I am not a reasonable person.