warning bits might trigger

coming here and reading posts is getting harder each day , just because what i have going on around me, i meant to be the strong one tonight i feel really like the weak one, after major tantrums from youngest daughter at weekend got her back into see the doctor who is lovely and will see daughter on her own to give her chance to talk, i explained to daughter if she don't tell what is going on they cant help, so after telling me she wanted to run away and die i knew she needed some real support, so today she saw doc, doc has made an appointment for her between new year and xmas to see her again also trying to arrange counseling for her,

i still have issues with oldest daughter last night she phoned me up at about 9ish to ask me to go to a play shes doing, i feel mean i haven't been to one while shes been at the day center for adults with learning difficulties they do at least 3 to 4 a year and she pulls you around from person to person showing of for attention and this is hard to explain i cant do it, so last night i explained i had already made plans for today and it was to late notice to ring me to go next day , i also explained that her dad and two aunts on her dads side would be there and lots of other ppl she knew, so know shes crying down the phone telling me i have never seen her do things like this , i said yes i have I'm the one who was always there through school and collage her father has only started recently showing an interest, again shes sobbing down the phone, said I'm sorry im busy i cant change my plans

now my second daughter is going to meet her to go xmas shoping tomorrow picking her up from center she asked what do i do when she keeps puling me around and hugging her, i said i don't know just don't make a scene and try to stay calm and get out of there as quick as possible,

youngest wants me to go into town also trying to explain that i don't want to go in there coz oldest will be there and its not fare on second eldest to put up with the nonsense from her seeing me in there
i hope i haven't confused anybody sorry
its just seems so complicated to keep everyone happy all at once