Greetings,

Just need someone to hear me. Diagnosed with Bipolar. I do not present as described in DMV-5. Always have had a hard time accepting diagnosis. My psychiatrist worked with me 5 years. He was very well esteemed in the mental health community. He fired me for non-compliance. I stopped taking meds numerous times. He didn't know how else to help. Fast forward to current. I work in a mental health evaluation and treatment facility as a nurse. I see people who are very sick mentally. I think "that's not me" I have never been ill like that. Maybe I just need to get it together on my own. Things really wernt that bad. I stopped my lithium. Decreased my Seroquel from 400mg to 100mg.
I feel ok a lot of days. But there are days I feel like crap. I'm agitated/angry, My body hurts. If I'm not working, I always sleep more. I don't feel motivated. Takes me everything to go to the gym. Lately, I'm just missing days. So I think, is this depression coming back? My "edge on" can get pretty bad. Can't stand to be around people on some times. Just feel like smacking them. So, I don't fit "criteria" for depression cause I do have some good days. But the days I feel bad-bad. Getting worse. Unsure of what to do. Have arnp that orders meds. only see her every few months. Suggestions/comments