I hope you are feeling better. I understand the feelings you are having.

Not entirely the same situation, but about a month ago, I had an ER physician disregard the reason I had come in (related to self injury that I believed was becoming infected) and proceeded to lecture me about wasting resources that could go to people who are actually sick. I had been to the ER for the injury the day it happened, and they always say, at discharge, if it starts to blah blah blah, come back. And I did. And then he lectured me instead of actually listening to thed problem.

I left feeling discouraged, crying as I walked out of the ER and sat in my car, crying and suicidal for a while. I didn't see the point of asking for help or caring for myself at all if that is what "they" think. Turns out, it was infected, btw, and the situation still makes me upset thinking about it.

I was in the ER again, yesterday, for self injury, and the PA/FNP who treated me wanted me to speak with the social worker. I brought it up with him, because I still have the belief of "why should I care if the doctors don't even care?" I could tell the SW was a little shocked that one of the doctors would do that, and totally disregard the actual complaint.

I think my point is, if I didn't say something, which I hadn't until yesterday except on here, the ER staff would be completely unaware of the situation and it would just fester inside me until that belief was so big that it actually did physical damage.

Your T may or may not be awaare of the charge, but I think it would be best for you and him to talk about the feelings it's bringing up in you. Not wanting to be honest and not wanting to go to T appts is only going to hurt you, in the end. Getting into why and how to manage those feelings would help both of you.