Feleacan - two very good post. I think a lot of PC'ers, old and new, who are at odds with their therapist and wanting to bail or take breaks are rejecting the "process of therapy," I'm referring to those of us with in secure/avoidant/disorganized attachment issues. I too, do not see this therapist words as offbase. If you asked me before I had what I consider successful attachment therapy, I would have said the therapist was rude and cancelled several sessions or bailed completely to "show her." It used to distress me to see the choruses of: find another therapist or shuck therapy altogether, which in some cases needed to happen, but in others it just added to the flames to what I saw as a reparable rupture, a process of the therapy. Now, it just makes me sad. This is my opinion only.

Calilady, my thinking leads me to wonder where you and your therapist would be if you had not put this rupture online for so many people to way in on, and fought it out between the two of you. Would you be even more confused or less confused?

My therapist made statements in the thick of things that if presented out of context I would been finding a new therapist after every session and most definitely if posted many posters would say she is out of line. I did try to lesson "her" burden of "me" by looking for a second therapist which she disagreed with, but would not stop me. My therapist always tied in that my transference moments were me not willing to let go of the need to change myself so that I could be the perfect child that my perfect mother needed. I was 50 and felt like an infant, a 10 year old school girl, an unruly teen, and a heterosexual women that experienced erotic transference for my female therapist. Their was most always three people in the therapy space, but one person, my mother lived 2,000 miles away. The fantasy is gone and I live not a perfect life, but a life where when statements your therapist made (no matter who thy are made by), don't sting and throw me off course which would in the past made me suicidal. Now words like that are just a blink that doesn't hook into old trauma, because the early traumas have already been processed. When things do become difficult chaos no longer happens in my mind and my life. I have learned how to get to a safer or more comfortable place in my head as natural process. I think this is what life is for those who didn't suffer the traumas we did in our family of origin (FOO). And, it's not a bad place to be.