So my session yesterday was a really difficult one. I told T about a conversation I had with my Mum about how I'm not doing well lately and amongst other things she asked me if T was helping me and I said that she was. My mum then said "well I'd hate to see how you'd be if she wasn't helping!". This planted a huge seed of doubt about my T and I started to feel very angry at her for not "fixing" me yet. I expressed some of this to T and asked her "what is the point (in therapy)?". T asked me if I was trying to punish her by saying that. I said no, I genuinely want to know the answer. T also commented that she seems to be the only one interested in understanding what's going on for me (this is psychodynamic therapy). I said that it wasn't so much that I'm not interested it's just that the we explore my issues the things I find wrong with me and everything feels like a criticism. It's just all too hard.

There's more but I'm too tired right now.