Quote:
Originally Posted by realizer
@Fharraige@justafriend306 So rehashing is what it's called in psychology? I somehow think that should I have responded in an offensive or at least defensive manner, I would be free of thoughts that would make me recall and analyze situation and it would not spoil my mood for the day, leaving a sense of self-respect and self-worth because I did not let some dirtbag to spill their negativity on me...
You mention that you reconsider what transpired through the others' points of view, how they responded etc. That while being in a situation or after that situation when you rehash what happened? I understood that you do that while in a situation but I am unclear how you can do that in such a short amout of time, let along being in a "fight or flight" condition.
Actually you mentioned email so I understand it is all done after conflict. In my case I describe occassional situation in a public area where a random dirbag Joe Doe yells and spill their negativity on you. There is no afterward contact or email communication.
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I realise you are perfectly right. I neither answered the question, nor offered up a suggestion or workable solution. Given the option of
Fight or Flight response I tend to take the latter - and then replay it in my mind over and over again after. Yes, my reacting seems to follow too late.
It wasn't always this way. There was a time when I was able to evaluate things on the spot - not just how I might react in response but what are the motivating factors behind this other person's behaviour. Gosh to be able to do that again. Now, since just such a situation went traumatic, the PTSD is triggered and I take flight only to have to relive/rehash out the event later.