I've said horribly mean things to my h when trying to push him away. It didn't work. He didn't leave me. Of course, I apologized. Sure, I meant those mean things, but I shouldn't have ever said them. But, hey, I'm BPD, gimme a break.

My mother is horribly mean. Cuts you right to the core with only a word, goes right for the jugular. She's a master of mean.

I could hear her coming out of me when I went off on him...scary as hell. I don't want to do that again.