I know you never heard of this but even if I go, I am just ... there. I don't build a deep friendship. I don't feel a lot better. I talk, it goes nowhere usually, sometimes I can't get to the "enjoyment" part. I may be writing now but I'm cut off and can't talk. I might be stunted or something. I want to talk but I lack the bonding etc. or something. People take it for granted and don't have this problem.
What will I do if I don't find someone who can help me?
The question is how can I find someone who will help me?
Tisha I have superficial relationship with flatmate, right now there is only one. Again he is nice but the conversation is the issue. In school, later especially, I did have someone to "hang out with", it is hard not to but again I was less "involved" and more on the periphery. And it is different when you are a child.
It is like trying to start a car and it doesn't start. It's like you just exist for no reason. Like a ghost. Everyone finds somewhere to belong, even drug addicts and I exist here. It's not healthy to be so alone. Things will be wrong. I have difficulty staying close to any friends, or had. Surely something can be done to fix this? I keep staying alone?