Can I post in this forum if I'm a daughter of parent's who've separated?

Feel free to delete this if not ....

I just got home for Christmas, and was at my mom's new house (where she lives with her boyfriend and his kids) for the first time today .... it was really REALLY weird. There was all of our things from my other house in this strange house ... our cookie jar filled with cookies that her bf's children made.... their fridge covered with his children's artwork (they're 8).... and even our cups in their shelves.

Everything that i once new, just wasn't anymore. And my mom was different too. When we were eating at dinner, she'd ask the boys how their day at school was.... i don't remember her ever taking real concern in how my (or my brother's) days at school were. She cut their meat... poured their juice... and they wispered secrets in her ears about what they got their dad for Christmas.

I have no idea how i feel. Part of me feels so jealous that they get to see her as a "mom" even though they have their own .... and another part of me just feels so excluded from this life of hers. This life that i've tried my darndest to not be a part of, yet i feel sad when i realize that it's the truth.

I'm 19 years old. I've lived away from home for 4 years, i'm not a little kid anymore ... so why do i feel this way?