I do this with M... after about a year of working together he started offering to hold my hand when I started panicking or shutting down in session.

I was nervous about it at first because I have many issues surrounding touch and hadn't allowed anyone to touch me in several years at that point. But it felt secure and safe-- and I had always had a desire to be held, which to me felt secret, wrong, and shameful.

At one session I was doing particularly badly so M moved his chair over to mine and reached out for my hand as we'd been doing. But I was too upset to even hold myself up and I sort of collapsed into him. When I realized what happened- that he was holding me- I got very uncomfortable. But I did a little checklist in my head and everything felt logically safe and ok, so I decided to try it out. He asked me to check in with my breathing, and to listen to his breathing too, to help regulate myself. It was very healing and I was surprised by how relaxed and easy I felt at the end of the session.

Now we've done this several times-- the routine is that if he notices I'm becoming disregulated, he'll offer to hold me. We go to the floor and he puts a pillow in his lap for a little separation, which I am very glad for, and I climb into his lap any way I like and he holds me. It is very important to him that I am comfortable and being held exactly the way I want. It is sort of like a massage in that he asks about pressure, placement, etc. At the end we separate slowly and conscientiously.

A few sessions ago I made a big change-- I didn't wait for him to notice I wasn't doing well, I went ahead myself and asked for a hug. It felt big and risky but of course he said "of course!"

We don't do any greeting or parting touch, except once in a while he'll put a hand on my shoulder or something.

I feel much less ashamed about my need for touch now, and I've noticed I'm beginning to be less weird about touch from friends/ acquaintances/ colleagues, too.