Are you under the care of a psychiatrist and do you go to therapy? That is your first step. You need a psychiatrist to help you know exactly what is going on mentally and help you with medication if you need it. Here is why I say that. Number one you mention several times that you think or your family thinks your crazy. Why not find out?? I guarantee the word crazy won't be used to describe you. Secondly, youre having racing thoughts and severe anxiety. Thirdly, you are no longer able to control your emotions and it is "spilling out" to your family. Finally, you will not have to keep wondering, you will know and then you can find a way to live peacefully in your own skin. Mental health used to be tabu like you said, just a bunch of crazy bipolar people, which bipolar is far from being crazy. You need some peace of mind. If you were having headaches and a terrible rash you would go to the Dr and get help. Mental health is the same it's just that no one can see your rash. It doesn't change that you need a Dr. Ok. Good luck!!