So I went. It was okay. She led the session. It was brought up near the end of session (about how she triggered me the week before). We didn't get too much into it. She was kinda flummoxed about what we should talk about since we had 20 minutes remaining; "We have time left, which is rare, what do you think we should talk about?" It almost felt like me when I avoid, but I was too tired to bring it up on my own. Our last session was so conflicting and upsetting, but didn't really get brought up.

It was the very last thing she brought up and quite frankly, i didn't have the strength of energy to do it.
She said she was anxious going into last session and may have got defensive because she "wanted to keep me" and not lose me. TBH, I wish she didn't tell me this.

I brought up the times when she was the harshest with me, like calling me rude, and then for the next session she was the harshest over the same issue. I told her I didn't think it's a coincidence and she did say it's a possibility that she was triggered as well. She said she has had to go to her therapist and talk about this.

I'm exhausted. This stuff goes against every fiber of my being. She apologized for not listening to me when I told her I was hurt and if I felt judged and she got why it triggered flashbacks in me. She then showed me the stationary she was intent on showing me before.

I feel like I've just gone 12 rounds. Anyone else a fearful avoidant, id be interested in hearing what your sessions are like. Goes against my DNA to sit there.