I've felt much the same thing about what happened to me when I was 10. I had a neighbor who grabbed me by the crotch (over my clothes) and shoved his tongue down my throat. Several days before this happened, he was trying to get me to spread my legs while I was wearing shorts. I was curious what he wanted with me and that's why I went to his apartment that day. I've felt so much shame and guilt about going over there for years. I felt like I had no right to feel bad about what he did to me, that other people have had way worse things happen to them. Plus I kind of did it to myself by going over there in the first place. I've always thought this one-time event didn't affect me, but I think it did. When I told my T about this, I got so upset, felt so much shame, I can hardly recall what he even said to me. I know he was speaking and trying to comfort me, but I can only remember a few words. Reading the responses on this thread made me feel like it's okay to feel something about this event, something I haven't allowed myself to do ever.