Another ******* landmine today. It's not related to what we talk about, but it's thrown me for a loop. To be frank, this cool, calm and collected exterior is bullcrap. The knowledge that we have two weeks left, and then you're gone for three is not going to help me open up.

If I have my eyes closed when I am in the between space, how am I supposed to navigate any kind of drawing? I am sorry if I came across as dismissive of the idea, because I really would like to see whether I can access that space somehow in a useful way, but I can't be here and there at the same time.

Being there rips me up, to the point where I cannot speak. I don't know how to access that space and speak at the same time.