Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_chic
So my session yesterday was a really difficult one. I told T about a conversation I had with my Mum about how I'm not doing well lately and amongst other things she asked me if T was helping me and I said that she was. My mum then said "well I'd hate to see how you'd be if she wasn't helping!". This planted a huge seed of doubt about my T and I started to feel very angry at her for not "fixing" me yet. I expressed some of this to T and asked her "what is the point (in therapy)?". T asked me if I was trying to punish her by saying that. I said no, I genuinely want to know the answer. T also commented that she seems to be the only one interested in understanding what's going on for me (this is psychodynamic therapy). I said that it wasn't so much that I'm not interested it's just that the we explore my issues the things I find wrong with me and everything feels like a criticism. It's just all too hard.
There's more but I'm too tired right now.
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In this context, and likely others or she might not bring it up, that might be about relating to your T as your mother rather than observing the transference. I don't mean for this to be a judgement; it happens alot and I think it drags on until the point when the timing is right for a person to sort of step out of it.
I think people can internalize our mother's 'voice', which can include self punishment or self attacks related to externalizations or projections of the mother's sense of self, like your mother demonstrated. Undeserving, not good enough, etc.
Here, your T seemed may have feel into your mother's role and reacted to that rather than your underlying feelings. Maybe not...just a guess...
One of the benefits of T, as long as they demonstrate consistent positive regard, is internalizing a new 'mother's voice' of the T.