I can totally relate I've been telling my therapist now for months that I feel I'm too old to be dealing with all of the trauma that I have to deal with
It seems like I'm going to be dead by the time I've dealt with everything
He disagrees and so do all of my friends so I keep pushing through hoping that things will get better. He said yes it will take a very long time but it's not like I'm going to feel like total crap until the very last day and that sooner than later I will actually start feeling better. I have not seen any great Improvement through EMDR yet but I have a lot of trauma to work through. I have decided that I will keep plugging along and hopefully I can at least die happy. I've decided that it's worth the chance to continue into the unknown and possibly get better versus continuing to live my life in the hell it is now. At this point it can't get any worse so what have I got to lose.