Not sure what your T thinks but it's really common for clients with certain backgrounds to associate love with pain, so what you said here makes sense to me. If you grew up always wanting to be loved by your parents (which you may have not been conscious of-which comes out in T), which is normal/reasonable when unloved/neglected, it could cause alot of emotional pain. Maybe she's trying to get to the root of your issues by accessing the past source(s) of your pain.

I think some Ts understand how painful it can be, but most likely those who also didn't get their needs met in the past (which seems to be common among Ts). I also am not sure if it's good for your mind/body/spirit to constantly feel pain from being in therapy. It has to do some damage over time. This is primarily why I think it isn't necessarily a good thing to 'work through' ET for a prolonged period of time.