He is using emotional blackmail (telling you that he will commit suicide); that is a way to control you and make you feel guilty. We are NOT responsible for what another adult does....You have to save your life, and yu can do nothing to help him. I hope yu won't wait too much longer to leave, and of course I understand; I stayed for 31 years! Your mind is twisted because of an ongoing onslaught of verbal and physical abuse. It would be my suggestion (repeating myself) to call the police for an escort out of the house....pack a bag of essentials, papers, taxes, house info,etc....you cannot think logically while there with him....In other words, find safety and then work on everything else. He sounds like a narcissist (most abusers are), and narcissists do NOT kill themselves; they are selfish, and care ONLY for their needs. Try to turn that self-hatred into, hating what has been done to you. You still feel hurt because he violated you. He violates you physically, sexually and emotionally. Why is he seeing a psychiatrist?..unless he is seeing one because he wants to stop being abusive; what is the point? Have you contacted the national violence hotline? Make sure if you do, he isn't around; abuser s dont' want anyone to know their secret, and it would be dangerous. If yu stay out of guilt (I understand); yu may never be able to leave and the behavior/violence will escalate until you are so beaten down and confused, you won't leave. I hope you will leave soon; you are taking a chance with your life. xo P.S. Over 18,000 women were murdered by their husbands/partners in 2003.....